Are you fighting against what is?

So, I went to my favorite 6:00am yoga class this morning and well…

I wanted to “sweep the leg” of the bendy 20-something, over-achieving, buffed woman next to me.

I know, I know, I’m not supposed to judge myself or others

but hello, human!

Here’s what’s happening —

I’m currently “struggling” with a knee thing:

It hurts, it doesn’t bend all the way, it slows me down, and I’m “having dark thoughts” about it.

So, back to yoga class this morning —

Each time we’d go through our “yoga flow” — you know the…

• down-dog

• to plank

• to chaturanga

• to cobra

• to down-dog

Well… while my tight knee was struggling to even do the basics today, this girl had her legs all up in the air sideways. And instead of doing a basic cobra, she did some crazy-*ss back-bend-handstand thing.

See pic above… THAT’s what she was doing instead of a cobra—

I mean, come on!!!

And I laughed out loud.

I almost blurted out, Show off!

Because:

1. I have no filter, and

2. it was hilarious to me that I (who was feeling “old” and hopeless and generally crappy about my limitations already) ended up right next to the crazy-*ss, 20-something, back-bendy, handstand-lady.

Really...!

I was soooooo in my head the whole class.

Wishing I could do the things I normally do.

Wondering if this is my life now—

• Is this the age where I lose my mobility and can’t walk anymore?

• I’m too young for this to be my new life.

• I’m a person who walks 5 miles a day.

• How am I becoming this person who doesn’t walk fast or do “all the things” in yoga class?

I was definitely NOT living in the present.

And I was judging myself HARD.

I was fighting against what is.

And, in doing so, I was making my whole situation worse.

Then, I realized my thought loop and found a little compassion for myself.

Pain is inevitable.

Suffering is a choice.

It’s OK to be where I am right now.

If I had a friend struggling with this same issue, I would NOT tell her to buck up. I would NOT tell her that she needs to heal faster or do “all the things” in yoga — like I was telling myself.

So why was I putting so much pressure on myself this morning?

Compassion, baby!

And, in case you’re suffering right now —

I thought I’d remind you that it’s OK.

You’re human, and it’s OK to be where YOU are right now too.

Nothing is forever.

Life is constantly in flux.

And we don’t have to go to the dark side with our thoughts.

We can choose to suffer.

Or we can choose to just let the pain be what it is and allow it to be there.

For now.

* * *

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